Our egos are our worst enemy (without our conscious realization most often). Our ego tries convincing our mind to believe false views about ourselves and of situations that we subconsciously begin to embed in our mind; starting a development of negative patterned thinking and eventual belief. The worst fabrications we could ever believe are the ones we subconsciously tell ourselves – we often do not even realize.
Uncluttering our mind with these pseudo negative induced judgments of ourselves are imperative to our self-healing and positive belief in our spiritual and emotional growth. So, in starting to clear away this customary habit of negative self-talk – we often recite to ourselves over and over; start with realizing the falsehood in these patterned beliefs and reclaim your intellectual space with the truth!
This list is not exhaustive by any means but here are ten common untruths to stop telling ourselves:
- I need more to be happy.
The truth is we don’t have to live in the false belief that there isn’t enough in the world to go around and if we do not over-supply ourselves with material things then we will miss out. The false belief of not having enough is a human made inaccuracy that is fear based. Fear is a lie where the truth is we already have enough. To live in fear and worry over what we do not have will only consume us with that toxic energy, and keep us from enjoying the benefits of what we do have. We do not need to have abundance in order to be happy because the truth is we already enjoy abundance; just maybe on a different scale than we set our mind to believe. We just need to be happy with now. The happiest of people usually do not have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way.
- I have to deal with negative people and I always get hurt.
No matter how you slice this and dice it, negative people exist everywhere unfortunately! We have to face negative people no matter what and the truth is, we are also negative. However, recognizing the negative traits within ourselves is positive and gives us the insight to proactively work through them. Allowing others to hurt us is optional. I know it’s not always easy to avoid hurt, but if someone repeatedly mistreats us, we need to have enough respect for ourselves to let them go. Loss is always hard and hurts. However, putting ourselves through a relationship or friendship where feeling hurt is continuous is more painful than cutting the cord with them. It takes great strength to stand up for ourselves. You are spiritually taking inventory of your energy which frees you up to be available to those who are for your best and highest good. Realizing your own worth takes great and powerful strength.
- My dreams are impossible.
It’s easy to get beat down and feel worthless like we don’t deserve or we don’t have what it takes to carry out our dreams. However, the truth is we have everything we need to do exactly what is in our heart of dreams. We don’t need any more degrees, certificates, classes or approvals. Educating ourselves is important. However, there comes a time when we just need to approve of ourselves and go out there and just start doing it. Don’t sit on the sidelines because it’s easy and safe and afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing will ever happen. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting the results you’re getting. Step out of your comfort zone, take a risk. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions speak louder than your words. Dream BIG and do something every day to contribute to it that your future self will thank you for.
- My failed relationships were a waste of time.
Nothing is ever a waste of time if it taught you something. If however, you didn’t learn from it then it will repeat itself in your life. The truth is; don’t waste the opportunity you were given in that “failed” relationship to learn. There are certain people who are not meant to stay in our lives. No relationship is ever a waste of time or even a “failure.” If it doesn’t bring you what you want, it teaches you what you do not want. Never regret those that brought you lessons in your life, accept that they were not meant to stay in your life and their purpose has been served. Relationships of all kinds enter our lives and then exist at the perfect divine time. Don’t carry regret, hurt or any other negative feelings. Feel grateful and then release, that is the truth.
- Things will never get better.
There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them even if it seems that way on the surface. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt and angry – that’s part of living, learning to face our problems but it doesn’t mean things will not improve because we had to go through this. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become. When we cocoon ourselves in isolation and cannot find our way out of the darkness, this is similar to the place where caterpillars are born – to grow their butterfly wings. Just because today is a terrible day, week, month or year doesn’t mean tomorrow, next week, next month or next year won’t be the best you’ve ever experienced in your life. We have to go through the darkness to find the light sometimes so hang in there, the truth is it always gets better.
- Failure is bad.
Sometimes you have to fail many times to succeed. Success is what you define it to be.
- Steve Jobs at 30 years old was left devastated and depressed after being removed from the company he started.
- Michael Jordan after being cut from his high school basketball team went home and locked himself in his room and broke down.
- Oprah Winfrey was demoted from her job as a news anchor because she was told she wasn’t fit for television.
- Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for lacking imagination.
“If you’ve never experienced failure then it’s likely you have never tried anything new.”
No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying but don’t compare with others. Only compare who you are now with who you were then. There is no failure in trying even if it doesn’t work out the way you hoped. Don’t get so hung up on one failed attempt that you miss the opening for many more. All of your ideas that do not work are simply stepping-stones for the one idea that does work. Remember, failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Often times good things fall apart so better things can come together. Failure is believed to be the mother of all success and I certainly believe it is too. In other words, failure is not negative; it’s a good sign and positive because you are trying!
- The Universe will give without me working for it.
We all have to live our unique divine path. However, nobody is going to come and save us and create it or live it for us. The Universe does assist and guide us but we have to do the heavy lifting to create the life we want ourselves. Nobody is going to give us a free ride even if we are born into nepotism; even then we have to earn things we want, just on a different scale. There is no “get out of jail free card.” We have to go out and earn what we want. Nobody knows what we want except us. Never leave your key to happiness in someone else’s pocket, and don’t wait on someone else to build your dream life for you. Be the architect and keeper of your own happiness. The Universe is a powerful and wonderful gift but we have to be willing to do our part, learn our lessons, take risks, step out of fear and really give our best effort. We are always guided in every way but we will not just be given what we want without our own determination first.
- My past dictates my future, therefore why bother.
At some point we have to let our past go. It’s always easy to hold onto it because it’s what we know; it’s what has already been written as part of our story. However, those are the key words, “part of our story.” In other words, the rest has yet to be written. If we look at the different times within our past, it was never always been the same. We have all made mistakes, had unfortunate times or bad relationships. Mistakes are only lessons in disguise. In other words, they are never mistakes. We should never regret one moment of it because in those moments we’ve learned a lot from our then choices which shape the way we choose our choices now. Through the growing pains of learning, we can really appreciate our past instead of dwell on it because it has led us to become the person we are today and is shaping the person we have yet to become tomorrow. If you are not happy with who you are today then use this as a lesson to start seeing how far you have already come from your past and how much better you will become in your future.
- I’m just one person in a world of millions.
We all have probably pondered this thought: “Why try in a world of millions, I am only one person and what difference could I possibly make when others are trying to do the same as me and yet they seem to be succeeding?” I know I am guilty of this. However, I was speaking to a longtime friend the other day and she said to me, “Your message may be the same as millions of others but you are needed because it is being said in a way that many need to hear it.” In other words, we ARE ALL UNIQUE even if our message is the same, we have a distinct voice that no one can copy no matter how hard they try. They do not have our thoughts, our mind, our wisdom, our intuitiveness, our gifts. They have their own! They can copy our words but not our thoughts or our gifts. We all have a leader figure whom we admire and secretly wish we were like – in which we often model ourselves after. However, others also admire us (sometimes without our knowing). We can always try to model ourselves off that leader figure we admire but the reality is we will never be them and that IS a good thing! We need to be us! We are realistically one person in a world of millions, however, we were selected to be here for a reason and our reason will come to pass. We are all unique, despite our nasty ego telling us we are not. We are all a divine being and we really do offer the world something that is missing in which the other millions cannot offer. Millions is just a number. We could live in a world of only a thousand and the reality would not be any different. Our gifts would still be the same, unique!
- I’m not good enough.
This is a famous quote by Sheldon Kopp that we should always remember. “I have never begun any important venture for which I felt adequately prepared.” In other words, our divine purpose is waiting for us and we are GOOD ENOUGH to live it! It’s hard sometimes to feel good enough when a new opportunity arises. However, most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zone. We could have every skill the world offers and still not feel good enough, courtesy of the ego! The truth is, we are all a work in progress and WE ALREADY ARE GOOD ENOUGH! Start accepting yourself for who are and stop criticizing yourself for who you are not! Love yourself completely so you can live and enjoy your life fully. It’s okay to not know everything or be good at everything but stop comparing yourself to others. Only compare yourself to who you were then compared to who you are now. You will begin to see all the wonderful things you have overcome and how far you have already gone and with that, you already are good enough!
If you really look at these ten examples and feel the truth in each one of them then that means you are determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you are meant to share. You are ready. Be conscious of your ego based thoughts and stop allowing them to dictate and control your life. You already know the big issues you wrestle with so start looking at the truth instead of the discouraging false beliefs you have lived thus far.
Feel free to share your ego-based thoughts that have held you back and add to this list, it may help others who are struggling with the same. I hope this post was helpful.